Sunday, March 17, 2019

paracetamol 500mg.


that is the sound of price barcode scanner at the cashier counter.

"how much?"
"sixty one dollar and ninety three cent sir."

by the way, can we talk about pain? what is pain? for me, pain is a postcard. i mean, its a part of communication mechanism in our body. try this- when our finger touch a hot stove, the sensory cell quickly wrote a postcard about what the finger is up to and drop it to the mail box. he wrote down the tracking number too, just in case anything happen to his precious postcard. soon after, the postman, the nerve, picked up the postcard from the mail box. he read the address- brain, in the head. unlike our courier service here, the nervous system have a very effective working system. the postcard arrived at the head and the brain read it right at the moment he received it. 'brain bro, i think this finger dude here will get us burned, you should tell him to stop now.' panicky, the brain pull his drawer out and quickly took out the 'pain postcard', and wrote 'back off mate. its hurt!' he passed it to the postman, who's he told to wait in front of his door, so he can deliver the pain postcard to the muscle guy. in a flash, the muscle read the postcard and do what the must. together with the tendon and the joint, they moved the skeletal bones to accomplish a back off movement of our hand. looks like it was a long and complicated process kan? but everything actually happened in a milliseconds. Allah is great.

"sorry, do you have panadol?"
"yes. which one? actifast? soluble? or the normal one?"

do you remember, when we're consulting a doctor because we're not feeling well, he/she will ask a lot about our pain. where does the pain felt the most? how often you feel the pain? when did you start feeling the pain? try to do this- which one feel worse; like this or like this?

this is him/her communicating with our body to get a clue on what is the problem and how to solve it. 

"actifast please."
"okay. here."

the point is, pain is not necessarily a bad things to be experienced. in fact it is necessary. pain is a form of protection, it is our body telling us that something is not right, that we're doing something wrong that we might end up destroying ourselves. pain is the language of our physical body, telling us what is their problem.

pain do exist in both physical and physiological form. the case is the same for both. pain, either physical or physiological, serve as an indication of something out of equilibrium or some limitation that has been exceeded. and like our physical pain, our psychological pain is not necessarily a meaningless or even undesirable experience. in some cases, experiencing emotional or physiological pain can be healthy or necessary. like the emotional pain of rejection or failure teaches us how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

people don't come with pop up lights or sounds plus vibration notification, like how our smartphone tells us that its battery almost drained or we exceeded our data limit or its running out of storage space. we need the sensation of pain to let us know that our bodies and heart(no, not the physical heart) need an extra care. it is an important signal.

"how much?"
"seventy dollar and ten cent sir."

unfortunately, we often got ourselves deluded and distracted from reality of the world around us. we're so used to see all sort of pain as a negative that we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain.

so, what if this pain is a delivered postcard, from Allah?
how should i reply to His message?

*there is a lot more about 'pain' from a rare positive views i found in my reading and from lectures i listened to. just like the latest writing on 'problem' before, this is me trying to re-write while connecting whatever i remember, and this is the longest i can write here. i'm sorry if the content was messed up just like my grammar. if someone is reading this, do ask if you need some titles for the books or the lectures. syafakallah.

Thursday, March 07, 2019

corrugated duct.

pantry. white coffee, hazelnut.

"morning bro."
"hi! morning." 

here is a tips; if you want to experiments life, you should make 'problems' as your constant variable.

hidup kita ni adalah rantaian masalah bah. masalah, masalah dan masalah. masalah tidak akan pernah berhenti untuk memunculkan dirinya, ia hanya bertukar bentuk atau/dan menjadi semakin sukar. kadang, penyelesaian satu masalah adalah pengenalan kepada masalah yang seterusnya. ini macam dalam pembinaan bangunan yang bertingkat-tingkat lah, kerja menyiapkan siling tingkat ke-enambelas adalah kerja menyediakan lantai untuk tingkat ke-tujuhbelas, yang masalahnya, perlu pula didirikan tiang, rasuk dan dindingnya. betul ka bossku?

"some of the corrugated duct in the beam ran out of position." 
"is it? can i see the drawing?"

kita terkadang cuba lari daripada masalah dalam dua keadaan.

pertama, dengan hidup dalam penafian. pertama-tamanya, kita menafikan bahawa masalah itu wujud. dan kerana kita cuba menafi dan menolak realiti, kita perlu meletakkan diri kita dalam ilusi supaya perhatian dan pikiran kita lari daripada garisan realiti. ya, kita mungkin merasa nyaman dalam tempoh yang sekejap, tapi hakikatnya ini akan membawa kepada hidup yang penuh dengan insecurities dan excessive anxiety.

kedua, dengan kita memiliki mentaliti 'mangsa keadaan'. kita memilih untuk percaya bahawa tiada yang boleh kita lakukan untuk menyelesaikan masalah kita, walaupun sebenarnya ada banyak pilihan jalan penyelesaian. kita sentiasa akan mencari sesuatu untuk disalahkan. mungkin kita akan berasa aman, tapi cuma dalam tempoh terhad, akhir hujungnya perkara ini akan membawa kita kepada hidup yang penuh rasa amarah dan depresi.

"here. we measured it from centre to centre."
"how about the corrugated duct diameter?"
"oh ya, they used a bigger size than the originally stated in the drawing."
"i'll check first the starter bar size on the other component."

and here is the thing- by believing Allah is with us, of course He is, does not mean we will live a life free of problems. no, it doesn't work that way my fellow sinner(read: repenter). because, you know what, if this is true, all the prophets alaihi salam will live a clear easy life. but, we know well how quran potrays each and every of the prophet's life difficulties and breakdown from a constant problems occurrence. right?

by believing Allah is with us, indeed He is, come what may, we'll face it full-heartedly. because we know well it'll be worth it. we'll see and learn the wisdom behind every of those problems, maybe not in the latter stage of our wordly life, but in the hereafter.

oh ya, in this context, our emotions are valid too. just don't be afraid to feel them, okay?

"hmm.. this one should be no issue bro. they used a bigger diameter to play safe. the corrugated duct likely will move out of position during casting as there are vibrating poker. the dimensional space margin will be bigger with a bigger diameter corrugated duct. so, even if the centroid position of the corrugated duct run out, there is still an enough space for the rebar to goes in. as long as the site can install the component smoothly, there should be no other concerns for this."
"oh, okay. understood."

jadinya, janganlah berharap untuk hidup tanpa masalah. mustahil. tapi, binalah hidup yang penuh dengan masalah-masalah yang baik. mungkin, kebahagiaan adalah bila kita jumpa masalah yang kita gembira untuk miliki dan selesaikan.

Friday, March 01, 2019

sticky notes.

gentle reminder:

for you, there will be rainbow after the rain falls today. for you, the sky will be full of stars tonight. for you, the sun will be shining again tomorrow. yes, you deserve them all. and just incase no one said this; you're amazing and wonderful. and if things aren't going well, just believe it will get better. and you will be alright.
and i'm here writing this- for you.